so, earlier this week i was getting ready to jump in the shower -- quite a luxury these days. the boys were napping. the house was quiet. i was in heaven.
i meandered into the bathroom, and that is when i saw this ugly thing staring back at me from the tub. okay, okay, maybe it wasn't quite that guy. but it might as well have been based on my reaction. not to mention my deep loathing of spiders. which really is just an intense fear pretending to be something a bit braver.
immediately my mind started racing, looking for a solution to this problem. brian was already at work, so he could not save me from this flesh-eating beast (as much as i would like to pretend to be a liberated woman, when it comes to bees, wasps, and spiders, i'm still a damsel in distress waiting for my knight in shining ecolab uniforms to rescue me).
the simple solution would be to squish it. but with a paper towel or something similar i would have to get too close to those fangs (dripping venom -- visibly) for my own comfort. after all, what would become of the boys if their mother dropped dead from a spider bite early in the morning?
there was always the shoe-squish option. but that was still distasteful to me. that would mean i would have to get very close to it to clean up its rotting carcass. even that frightens me.
suddenly, i had a brilliant idea. the monster was in the tub, so why not run the water, drown it, and let it just wash right down the drain? brilliant. watch my mad skills. if you listen carefully, you can hear my terrified heavy breathing in the background.
as you can see, that worked marvellously.
in the end i resorted to the shoe technique. my trusty white flip flop has never been more valuable to me. but i still washed him down the drain. no touching nasty creepy crawly things for me. no matter how dead they are. haven't you seen any horror films? the bad guy is never really dead when you think he's dead. he's just waiting for you to let your guard down so he can get you when your back is turned.