Friday, September 9, 2011

The Adventures of Blanket Boy

Let me tell you about how I met Blanket Boy.

A few nights ago, I was chatting on the phone with the hubby, who was (once again) out of town on business when I had to drop the phone and run as fast as I could to the boys' room. Why, you ask? (and I know you are dying to know).

I had to answer the call of Blanket Boy.

Or, in terms everyone can understand, one child was screaming at the top of his lungs, clearly injured. Apparently, "as fast as I can" isn't too fast. Both of my parents had managed to come up from downstairs and turn on the kids' light before I was able to make the short trek down the hall.

What we all found there was a ghastly sight. N's entire face & both his arms were covered in blood.

Upon closer inspection, it became evident that he had banged his chin and his nose, resulting in a scrape and a bloody nose. Nothing major. But very, very bloody.

Later that evening, while we were all still recovering from the trauma, he told me he had gotten his injury on the side of W's bed. I asked if they had been jumping. They both assured me that they had not. What, then, were they doing? They calmly and casually informed me that they had been playing Blanket Boy.

That was explanation enough for the moment. They were ready to sleep, and so was I .

The next day I asked them to tell Yaya (my mom) what they had been doing when N had gotten hurt. Once again, the explanation was that they had been playing Blanket Boy. Yaya asked what that meant.

"I will show you," they quipped in unison & disappeared momentarily to find a blanket.

N put the blanket over his head and said (in a voice reminiscent of Bullwinkle), "Look at me! I'm Blanket Boy!"

W proceeded to run at him and hit him full force on the chest with both hands.

N fell to the floor. Hard. And cracked up.

Then they traded roles. W did his best Bullwinkle and said, "Hello! I'm Blanket Boy!" while completely covered. N hit him full force and knocked him down in a giggling heap.

Despite encouragement that Blanket Boy is a bad idea, this morning Shorty was standing up in his crib, blanket draped over his head, shouting, "Blanket Boy! Blanket Boy!"

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Car Talk

This conversation happened on the 5-minute drive home from lunch yesterday. I swear the twins didn't even pause for breath in between sentences. I wasn't paying attention and ran over a curb, which set this whole thing off.

Thing 2: Mommy what was that big bump?
Me: I hit the sidewalk, buddy.
Thing 1: Why?
Me: Because I wasn't paying attention & was being a bad driver.
Thing 2: Why didn't somebody beep his horn at you?
Me: Because I wasn't being dangerous.
Thing 1: You're supposed to beep your horn at bad drivers.
Me: Just when they are in your way or are being dangerous.
Thing 2: Mommy that light is red, you have to stop.
Me: Okay (said light was on the next block).
Thing 1: Mommy! You have to stop at a red light!
Shorty: Look. Light.
Thing 2: Mommy, are you being a bad driver again?
Me: If it's still red when I get there, I'll stop.
Thing 1: Mommy, look. A big crane.
Thing 2: Will it lift that big box?
Thing1: Why is it not moving?
Thing 2: Is this a job site?
Thing 1: Boss says, "Lift that stone!" (quoting a library book we have at home now)
Thing 2: I don't see any stones.
Thing 1: Mommy, what's a stone?
Shorty: Look. Stone.
Me: A stone is like a big rock.
Thing 2: I don't see any rocks.
Thing 1: Boss says, "Scoop that rock!" (more quotes)
Shorty: Mommy! Mommy!
Me: Yes?
Shorty: Look. Rock.
Thing 2: Mommy, what are those?
Me: Those are pipes.
Thing 1: Mommy, what's a pipe?
Me: It makes a tunnel underground for water or things to go through.
Thing 2: We could play in pipes.
Me: You shouldn't. If the water came, you could get hurt.
Thing 1: What?
Thing 2: Would we melt?
Me: What?
Thing 1: The wicked witch melts with water.
Thing 2: Would we melt?
Me: No. You wouldn't melt, but you could get hurt.
Thing 1: Witches melt.
Thing 2: Who threw water on the witch?
Me: Dorothy.
Thing 1: Why?
Me: Because her friend the scarecrow was on fire and water puts fire out. But she hit the witch with water.
Thing 2: Is there fire in pipes?
Me: No.
Thing 1: The witch has mean monkeys.
Thing 2: Are there monkeys in pipes?
Thing 1: The monkeys take apart the scarecrow and make him in pieces.
Thing 2: Do the monkeys take apart Dorothy?
Me: No.
Thing 1: Can the monkeys in the pipes take apart us?
Me: No.
Thing 2: The other wicked witch turns into a dragon.
Me: In Sleeping Beauty. Yes.
Thing 1: I don't like that witch.
Me: That's why we have never watched that movie.
Thing 2:I don't like that dragon.
Me: That's why we have never watched that movie.
Thing 1: Somebody needs to throw water on that witch.
Thing 2: Do somebody throw water on that witch?
Me: No.
Thing 1: Somebody needs to melt her.
Thing 2: What do dragons say?
Me: *growl* and they breathe fire.
Thing 1: They breathe fire?
Thing 2: Like Uncle Rick.
Me: What?
Thing 1: Like Uncle Rick.
Me: Uncle Rick doesn't breathe fire.
Thing 2: Uncle Rick does this *growl*
Shorty: Uncle Rick.
Thing 1: I don't like witches.
Thing 2: I don't like dragons.
Me: But you do like uncle Rick.
Shorty: Mommy, look. Car.

My head hurts.
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