Double Trouble

Eight years ago my life  was changed completely when I became a mama of not one darling little boy, but two. That first year was a whirlwind. I am not sure I had time to exhale during those early days. And I know I didn't have time to shower. My apologies to those who knew me then.

I was thrust into motherhood, and much like the Grinch, my heart grew three sizes. I don't think I had ever known the depth of love...or exhaustion...that these two little men would teach me.

2015 www.jillheupel.com Mr. N.

2015 www.jillheupel.com Mr. W.

Their energy is a force to be reckoned with. Their personalities are as distinct as their fingerprints -- two unique halves of the same whole. Their rivalry is fierce, but their friendship grows stronger every day. Both individually and as a team they are capable of great things and never cease to amaze me.

2007 www.beenblessedstudio.com

2008 www.beenblessedstudio.com

2009 www.beenblessedstudio.com

2010 www.beenblessedstudio.com

2011 www.brushfirephotography.com

2012 www.jillheupel.com

2013 www.jillheupel.com

2014 at Grinter Farms

2015 at Grinter Farms

When you've lived in 4 different states, it makes it difficult to have a party with all your friends. No matter what, you are going to have to pick and choose. This year they decided to have their party back in Illinois. Luckily, Grandad has a nice back yard and a kitchen to use. I didn't have to try to load everything into the car. Only some things. And I had to have a clear plan of what needed to happen in the limited time we would have before friends started ringing the doorbell.

Star Wars.

It's just a minor obsession of ours right now.

It's our Halloween theme. Our birthday party theme. It might just be the theme of our day-to-day existence, if I'm honest. The moment-by-moment struggles not to let our passions, our fears and our anger control us...not to be wooed by the the Dark Side.

The struggle is real, people.

Naturally, every young Jedi apprentice needs to have his or her very own lightsaber as a party favor. And to avoid injury (as much as possible, anyway), those should really be pool noodles.

The snack table was complete with cake, veggie sabers, Leia's braids, and more!

The Trooper Army was an adorable way for me to give up my need for control. And as I've mentioned a few times before, it doesn't have to be beautiful for it to be perfect. The boys loved taking ownership of their own party by drawing the faces on the marshmallows storm troopers (among other things). It was perfect.

 The Trash Pit Pudding came complete with an one-eyed gummy worm trash monster.

 Freeing Han Solo from the Carbonite Jello was a tasty diversion.

 No party is complete without an EPIC lightsaber battle!

These very intimidating boys were the real champs of Tug-of-War Dark vs. Light, although we recruited a few adults to give the smaller kids on the other side a fighting chance.

We also defeated the Clone (balloon) Army, took some Target Practice against an X-Wing and a TIE Fighter (cornhole), used the Force (to play blind man's bluff), and destroyed the Death Star (piñata).

It was crazy, chaotic, exhausting, and so much fun. Everything a party should be.

Happy 8th birthday, you silly boys!

Mr. N, you make me so happy. I love your big animal-loving heart, your tender spirit, and your desire for peace, fun, and comfort in every situation.

Mr. W, I am so proud to be your mama. I love your drive and determination, how you crave encouragement and give it to others, your sense of humor, and your desire to always to your best and be the best you can be.

Auld Lang Syne

It's been quite a year.

Heck, it's been quite a week.

This week has been full. Full of travel. Full of family. Full of friends. Full of memories. Full of fun...

So here I sit on New Year's Eve in my parents' house while my dad is out, my kids are sleeping, and my husband is driving home from work in western Kansas. I'm watching HGTV and painting my fingernails a color called "Cinderella" and expecting to turn into a pumpkin before midnight rolls around.

Digging around the pantry I found this unopened bottle of deliciousness:

I introduced my mother to this liqueur during my years in Barcelona, and she loved it even more than I did. Every time I came home, I brought a bottle for her.

When the hubs and I moved back to the States, Mom decided that she would save her last bottle for a special occasion. Years passed, and she never did open up that bottle. She was always waiting for the perfect moment to come. Always thinking that a better time to indulge would be right around the corner.

In the end, that perfect moment never came.

In the end, she missed a chance to savor something she loved.

As I sit here on the eve of a new year drinking my mother's liqueur, I know that this silly bottle of alcohol has a lesson for me.

I am determined to savor.

I am not going to waste a moment waiting for a better time to see someone, to let people know I love and appreciate them, to help others.

It is trite, but in 2015 I plan to seize the day.

I think I have started well, or ended well, I guess. I have taken hours when I could have been hurrying off to do something else to try to keep some of Mom's traditions alive, visit a cousin in the hospital, sip coffee with a college roommate, tour another cousin's house for the first time, reconnect with a high school buddy and meet his amazing wife, and sit down with a friend from the Spain days whom I hadn't seen in 14 years.

I raise a glass to you, my friends. To time well spent. To moments savored.

Sing with me:

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne?

CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup
and surely I’ll buy mine!
And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS
We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS
We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS
And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

Don't make me stop this car!

We have a tradition that when we are all sitting around the dinner table, we share our day's highlights. We used to share lowlights, too, but they have been disallowed. Lowlights became a bit of a complaint session. Some of the members of our family would have 3-4 lowlights and be incapable of thinking of a highlight. So we banned lowlights from the table. We wanted to focus on the positive, since that's ultimately what we want to remember. We are trying to foster a spirit of gratitude for all the blessings in our lives.

One evening while we were sharing a meal with our cousins, they were sharing their "bubble up" and "bubble down" from the day. They do the same thing as us, but have a much cuter way of putting it. They are cute like that. It's just one of the many things I love about their family. Anyway, as we were sharing, Mr. N wanted to share a "bubble down." At first I wasn't going to let him, but he just wanted to say that his lowlight was that his aunt, uncle, and cousins were getting ready to leave. It was a very sweet way of saying that a highlight had been their visit.

I was reminded that sometimes a lowlight can be an aspect of gratitude, too. We just need to turn it on it's head. We probably will still forbid lowlights at the table for the most part, or work on how to turn them into positive statements, but it was a good reminder.

Grab a cup of coffee or a snack, because here are my highlights from our crazy, cross-country road trip. Lowlights are included. Because I'm a bit of a hypocrite. And the lowlights are often the more colorful parts of the trip.

Day 1: Beginning in Wichita, KS and ending in Mansfield, MO
highlight: remembering how to change my own tire
lowlight: actually having to change my own tire

Day 2: Beginning in Mansfield, MO and ending in Ft. Campbell, KY

highlights: the Laura and Almanzo Wilder homes and museum in Mansfield; the Superman museum in Metropolis, IL (the best place ever, according to Mr. W)
lowlights: Shorty falling out of the car and cracking his head on the pavement; carsickness

Day 3: Beginning in Ft. Campbell, KY and ending in Charlotte, NC
highlight: seeing family!
lowlight: dealing with the grouchies

Day 4: Beginnning in Charlotte, NC and ending in Carolina Beach, NC
highlight: FINALLY arriving at the ocean
lowlight: dealing with the landlord (honesty, frustration, cunning, and perhaps a little deceit thrown in)

Day 5: on the beach
highlight: celebrating Shorty's upcoming 5th (!?!) birthday (he said we served "sand"wiches because it was a beach party...he's funnier than I am, since I hadn't even thought of that)
lowlight: the nephew's busted lip

Day 6: on the beach
highlight: sandcastles
lowlight: falling down the porch steps (at least no one was around to see me writhing on the ground)

Day 7: on the beach
highlight: the carnival & funnel cake
lowlight: having to squeeze my too-long legs into a kiddie ride just because W is half an inch too short to ride alone (and having to cough up 3 ride tickets to do so)

Day 8: downtown Wilmington, NC
highlight: tours of the U.S.S. North Carolina and of the historic district
lowlight: the whole family getting "hangry" and needing to speed up the battleship tour

Day 9: on the beach
highlight: confirming that time and distance can't change friendships, ice cream (the best in L's whole life, he said through blue-stained lips)
lowlight: a pair of pooped-in underpants down on the boardwalk

Day 10: on the beach
highlight: finding "treasures" on the beach: a half-eaten crab, a shell with both halves still in tact, and a live jellyfish
lowlight: B only bought a dozen of the "2nd best donuts" in the nation...and I was expected to share

Day 11: Beginning in Carolina Beach, NC and ending in Charlotte, NC
highlight:starting the day with donuts (yes, more) and sea turtles with my men; finishing the day with cocktails and girl time with my sister.
lowlight: saying "goodbye" to the ocean

Day 12: Charlotte, NC
highlight: s'mores and back yard camping with the family
lowlight: holy mosquitoes, Batman!

Day 13: beginning in Charlotte, NC and ending at Cosby campground in the Smoky Mountains
highlight: nature and watching my boys love it, also playing exquisite corpses and singing my little men to sleep (they usually ask me to stop).
lowlight: nature and being slightly terrified of it

Day 14: beginning in the Smoky Mountains and ending in Louisville, KY
highlight: getting to reconnect with one of my oldest and dearest friends (and her family)
lowlight: the tears my little men are shedding each time we pack up and leave a place, knowing that it will be a long time before we come back

We failed to take a picture, but here we are in all our teen glory...she's braiding my hair

Day 15: beginning in Louisville, KY and ending in the St. Louis area
highlight: dinner and conversation at one of my favorite places with one of my favorite people.
lowlight: knowing that there isn't time this trip to see SO MANY of my favorite people (I am already plotting my next trip back)

Day 16: St. Louis area
highlight: my children and their grandparents (oh, and getting a shower)
lowlight: that moment they stopped being little boys and started being wild things 

Day 17: beginning in the St Louis area and ending in Wichita
highlight: my house, my bed, my cat, my clean and cozy PJs
lowlight: the hubby and  I are like ships passing in the night...we met him for dinner as he was on his way to the Lou for the weekend.

Whew!

Lessons Learned as a Brownie

Make new friends
But keep the old.
One is silver 
And the other's gold.

When you are a 5-year-old little girl singing this song with your Brownie troop, it's hard to understand the concept of "old friends."

However, when you are a 30-something and have lived literally all over the Western Hemisphere, the lesson really starts to sink in.

All of my old friends were once new friends.

And I sincerely hope my new friends will stick with me long enough to make that slow slide into the "old friends" category. Those folks who know your history and, although they may not have been a part of your day-to-day for the last howevermany years (apart from facebook status updates and uploaded photos), when you sit down to talk with them or get a phone call, it is as if no time has passed at all. There is catching up to do on the particulars, but the friendship has been able to traverse any gaps in time or space effortlessly. These are the people who understand your heart and soul, who have stood the test of time, whose relationship with you has mellowed like a good red wine.

This is not to undervalue the new friends, though. These are the people who walk beside you in the here and now. Your colleagues, your fellow soccer moms, your church family. You may not share a history with these folks, but you share a present, and their influence and inspiration will help to shape your future.

I feel incredibly blessed to have old friends spread all across the globe. If you happen to be reading this, know I love and cherish you...even when I allow life to get in the way of keeping in touch. I am doubly blessed to be living where I am now, where I have both old and new friends.

I get to have the best of the "silver" and the "gold" nearby.

I have some coffee on (always). Come sit on my front porch with me.